Interview with my Inner Critic

I'm in Tom's Inner Critic course and tried my hand (and mind) at my Inner Critic interviewing me. 

Have any of you tried it yet? 

It was strange, but also very relieving. My inner critic is actually very easy to talk to!

I feel like thinking about these questions as if someone was actually asking me them and then answering them instead of just going straight into anxious mode helped me feel lighter. It was almost like self-therapy and it helped me detach myself from my inner critic.

There's no requirement to share this in the community, and it's pretty lengthy, but reading Tom's example in the course made me feel better, so I thought I'd share mine in case anyone's interested in seeing an example. 

Critic in bold, my text is regular. I tried to stay neutral with my critic. Every time I felt a non-neutral question coming on, I instantly felt like I was going to shut down so I reworded it. 

Hey.

Hi.

What’s up?

Well, I go too long without drawing and writing, so I’m trying to organize my thoughts and feel some stability so I can draw and write again. 

I noticed you tend to feel disorganized and unstable often. 

Yeah, that’s true. I find that the older I get, it feels harder to make decisions for myself. I’m not sure which decision is “right” and then I think I end up procrastinating doing anything. I’m aware there probably isn’t an entirely correct decision. I feel like I have a million voices in my head and I’m just trying to find mine again. 

I thought you already found your voice. 

I do believe I have my own voice, I think it gets scared of what people might think so it doesn’t talk too loudly and gets lost in the crowd sometimes. 

That's not good. 

No, you're right. It isn't. I also struggle with Depression, he kills my mood sometimes and adds to my instability. But, I'm trying to find new ways to distract him. I should be more confident with what I have to or want to say in my life and my comics, and my decisions in general. I'm a work in progress. Thank you for noticing. 

Oh, yeah, I know Depression. He was just here. But, anyway, why hide your voice? Don’t you want your art to get noticed? 

Yes and no. I shouldn't hide my voice from the world, but I actually hate when the attention is on me. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I’m trying to get past that.

So, why are you making art then if you don't want it to get noticed? 

I mostly just like to make things. When I was younger, I drew and wrote little stories a lot. I didn’t have any reason to do it back then, I just liked to make them. I’m trying to remember to think like that as I age and not think that everything needs some profound meaning to exist. Someone resonating with what I make is just a bonus. 

That’s a cool way to think about it. Let’s talk about your comics. 

Thanks. Okay. 

Why comics? 

I stumbled across comics because it mixes two things I’ve always loved: writing and cartoons. I started writing at a very early age and I never stopped watching cartoons as I grew up. 

Since you've always been writing, why not just write and watch cartoons? Why make comics? 

Every artist has their own preferred way of creating that feels good to them, and mine just happens to be through comics. I like to think of it like this: It’s like when you’re looking at the moon and it’s so beautiful that you take a picture of the moon with your phone. The picture doesn’t do the actual moon justice at all. It just looks like a tiny, light blob. But when you take the picture with a Canon camera, the moon looks much bigger and prettier. I feel like just writing makes my ideas feel small, but adding drawings makes my creations feel big and I guess more beautiful, even though I like to draw gross looking things lol. 

Aren’t comics and cartoons for kids? 

I don’t know why people think this or why it’s in my head to think this. I believe cartoons and comics can teach adults and entertain adults just the same as they do for children. Comics are just another medium to use to share ideas, stories, and/or facts. I don’t believe they are just for kids.

Yeah… Where do you get the idea that they’re for kids? 

I don’t know. I don’t know where I get most of my preconceptions about things. Probably from you. 

You should stop thinking about those things since you don’t have proof that they matter.

Yeah, I shouldn’t listen to them. It’s like listening to stuff on the Internet without sources backing it up. 

Yeah. What about money, though? Can you make a living off making comics? 

I don’t know yet. Maybe. I’m sure some people can, and do. I don’t draw enough comics to even make a whole book of comics yet, so how could I expect money from comics? 

So, maybe you should go back to school to get a more stable job? Since you don't have anything to do with an English and Anthropology degree. 

I don’t know. I don’t think I need to go back to school, and I don’t think I want to either. I feel like it will be another distraction from just making comics. I just have to make them. And I don't think that's true, I use and think about my degrees in my life all the time. I love culture and writing and mixing them together. 

But what about stability? 

I’m still figuring that one out, and what stability means. 

Don’t you want to be successful? 

I am successful. I successfully got an apartment in Brooklyn, NY despite many odds. I want a quieter life, but I still believe this is an achievement. I have an awesome mentor and work with an amazing cartooning school. I successfully put together and funded my own zine anthology and got so much hype from it that I have more submissions for the second zine than the first one. I successfully taught myself how to design artwork for hats and how to screen print on T-Shirts and skate decks and sell them. I successfully researched everything about how to get health insurance and how to deal with a bunch of legal changes I had to go through all by myself. I guess this question you're more-so asking is, “Don’t You Want to Look Successful?” No. I don’t care what people think of me based on their definition of success. I define my own success.  

That's great! But, how are you successful with your comics when you don’t draw often? 

You’re right, critic. I don’t draw enough, and I should be drawing more. Can you help me stop thinking so much and just draw stuff? 

Yeah, that sounds fun. But, also scary. What if it doesn’t look how you want it to? 

I really just want to draw as much as I can, like I used to. Just keep drawing and not letting any frustration over how I draw stop me. I want to keep believing that quantity breeds quality. Can you help me observe my work so that I can see what I can improve on? Like, if I draw hair that looks a little off or characters that personally look stiff, let’s just look up some of our favorite cartoons and look at how they draw hair or something? Can you promise to not judge the drawing? 

Sounds doable, but I don’t want you to feel bad. What if people see your drawings and think, “He’s been doing this for years, why hasn’t he improved?” 

I don’t want to allow that fear to stop me. I won't let what others MIGHT think of my draftsmanship affect my progress and determination to keep going. I’m not doing it for them anyway. 

Oh, okay, cool. How do we start? 

I have some ideas written down, but to not be too precious, let’s just doodle every day a little and attempt to do a daily diary comic. Messy is fine, just get it done and put down something that happened in your day. No pressure. No need for deep meanings. No need for grand storytelling. No need for extraordinary draftsmanship. Just draw and see what you’d like to help me work on. 

That sounds fun! I feel like drawing now. 

Me too. Let’s draw. 

This course is offered alone OR as a free course as part of the Comics Flow Membership!

Cheers,

Karlo 

I WANT TO MAKE AND READ MORE COMICS!

Do you have a story inside you that’s just itching to come out, but want some guidance to help push it out?

Learn more about intensive comics learning with teachers at SAW by checking out SAW’s Year-Long Intensive Program and our Six-Month Graphic Novel Intensive.

Be sure to also check out our Online Courses, since some courses are offered year-round and are always enrolling!

Our Graphic Memoir Intensive runs year round and is always enrolling.  It includes access to a vibrant working community, twice-monthly live online check-ins, weekly prompts, and access to SAW’s Monthly Pro Calls!

Our Comics Flow Group, is also year-round and always enrolling and is SAW's MOST AFFORDABLE course option with access to Monthly Pro-Calls!

And, of course, come see what we’re all up to on SAW's Mighty Network anytime!

Cheers

Karlo